We are live for Wrestlemania 28 in Miami, FL!
Alright, they just did a flyby of the stadium, holy crap that is a lot of people. The preshow match will be The Usos vs. Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd vs. Epico and Primo for the WWE Tag Team Championships. Tyson Kidd kicks Primo on the outside. I miss the Money In The Bank ladder match. Tyson Kidd with a huge suplex involving Primo and one of the Usos. Jey Uso with a nice frogsplash to Epico and Justin Gabriel. Gabriel botches but does the same move correctly the second time. Epico with a backstabber. 1. 2. 3. Epico and Primo win with a pinfall.
I’m 1 for 1 so far with predictions. Best in the world.
Wrestlemania kicks off with Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan in 15 minutes.
Wrestlemania 28 time!
The show starts with Lilian Garcia singing America The Beautiful. USA! USA! USA! Crowds are still filing into the stadium, near record numbers are expected.
No pyros to start off the show…looks like they are saving them for halftime. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan with AJ up now. Cole and Lawler are on commentary. This place is nuts. The ref rings the bell but before they start fighting Bryan asks for a kiss from AJ. Sheamus Brogue Kicked Bryan when he went for the kiss! 1. 2. 3. Sheamus wins with a pinfall! That took 15 seconds! We have a new World Heavyweight Champion!
2 for 2 baby!
Backstage with Team Johnny. Kane and Orton up next. Kane goes for the chokeslam early but Orton reverses. Time for another 15 second match! Orton dropped on the ropes and gets the big boot from Kane. Kane with a big right hand to the chin of Orton. First “vintage” of the night from Cole. Orton with a backbreaker to Kane. That didn’t look good for either man. Orton DDTs Kane from the ropes. Orton calls for the RKO. Kane counters with a big boot to the face. Kane goes to the top rope but Orton counters with a dropkick. Orton runs into a chokeslam. That was a nice chokeslam. 1. 2. Kickout! Kane chokeslams Orton from the top rope! 1. 2. 3. Kane wins with a pinfall.
2 for 3…still good!
Backstage segment with Santino Marella, Mick Foley, and some guy from the Deadliest Catch. What the hell is this? Oh yeah! Ron Simmons! DAMN!
Cody Rhodes vs. The Big Show for the Intercontinental Championship up next. Show with the first stage pyro of the night. Show is in control. Show just throw Rhodes across the whole damn ring. Big Show with the stinkface to Cody Rhodes. Cody Rhodes working the leg of Show. Rhodes with a big right hand! 1. 2. 3. The Big Show wins the Intercontinental Championship with a pinfall.
3 for 4…let’s go!
Promo about how awesome the Divas are. Looks like it might be bathroom time soon. Kelly Kelly and Maria Menunounounsunonuononouns vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres. Double stinkface to Maria Menun..fuck it…Maria. Sorry, I was making popcorn, what happened. Maria is on the top ropes…holding her rubs together. Beth saves her and Maria gets the rollup. 1. 2 3. Kelly Kelly and Maria win with a pinfall.
4 for 5! Awesome.
Promo of Shawn Michaels in the back. Record breaking attendance tonight with 78,383 people. First legit pyro of the night. Here comes Jim Ross! Wow, he looks great! Triple H vs. Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell up next. Mr. Wrestlemania is coming out first. Time for the best entrances of the night. Alright, those were just their normal entrances. No druids…no warriors with shields…nothing. No buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh cage dropping music buh buh buh buh, we get Metallica instead. Ding ding ding, time for a 45 minute emotional roller coaster. Each superstar trades blows with each other in the corner. Triple H is getting acquainted with those steel walls courtesy of The Undertaker. Oh, Mr. Steel-Steps wants to play too. Taker is going Old School. Ring steps to the eyes of HHH, Taker is in complete control of this match. Oh my god, Taker leg drops HHH on the apron of the ring. Taker tries to Pedigree Taker on the step inside of the ring but Taker counters. Spinebuster to the steps from Triple H. Ouch. Hells Gate! Hells Gate! Triple H picks him up and counters. Triple H tosses two steel chairs into the ring and then uses them on Taker. Triple H sets up the steps in the corner and tosses Taker headfirst into the steps. Triple H back with the chair. Teiple H blows a fuse and goes crazy with that chair. Shawn Michaels tries to stop it but has no power. HBK tosses the chair outside of the ring and asks for HHH to cover Taker for the pin. Triple H back with the chair. Triple H wants Michaels to end the match, Taker says not to stop it. Triple H is relentless with this chair, he leaves the ring to go grab another one. Triple H grabs the sledgehammer as Shawn tries to stop it. Triple H with the sledgehammer to the face. 1. 2. Kickout! Alright, I know it is fake, but that was really close. Shawn stops Triple H from slamming it down on Taker. Taker just put Shawn Michaels in Hells Gate! Sledgehammer to the both of them! Taker has Triple H in Hells Gate but Shawn Michaels is out! Triple H tries to lift Taker! Triple H is out! Here comes another ref! The ref finally unlocked the gate! Chokeslam on Triple H! 1. 2. Kickout! Taker just chokeslammed the new ref! Sweet Chin Music on Taker! Pedigree on Taker! 1. 2. Kickout! Oh my god! Triple H tosses Michaels out of the ring! Taker wakes up and is in control! Tombstone Piledriver! 1. 2. Kickout! What?! What?! What?! How are these men back on their feet right now? Pedigree! 1. 2. Kickout! His hand was on the mat! Oh my god! Taker has a chair, Triple H has the sledgehammer. Taker wins this weapon battle with a chair shot. Taker has some sweet justice on HHH with a ton of chair shots. The chair is broken. 1. 2. Triple H kicks out! The Game tries to hit Taker with the hammer, Taker blocks. Triple H looks physically exhausted. Triple H with the DX crotch chop and Taker hits him with the hammer. Tombstone piledriver. 1. 2. 3. The Undertaker goes 20-0 with a pinfall.
That singlehandedly may have been the best match I’ve ever witnessed. The utter respect these three men have for each other is simply amazing. There are still two hours to go. Two. Hours.
5 for 6. I should have bet on this thing!
Hall of Famer Class of 2012 time. Flo Rida just kicked Heath Slaters ass in the back. Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny up next. Kofi and Dolph start first. Team Teddy is in control. Team Johnny is back in control with Booker T and Jack Swagger in the ring. I am just emotionally spent right now after that last match. World Strongest Slam out of nowhere with Khali! Khali with a huge slap! Alright, this is just ridiculous. I cannot type this fast. What is happening in this match! There is a pile of bodies outside the ring! Spear from Aksana to Vickie. This is chaos. SANTINO AND MIZ! Cobra strikes! 1. 2. Ziggler with the interference! Oh my god! Ryder and Miz! What the hell is Eve doing in here?! Skullcrushing Finale on Ryder! 1. 2. 3. Team Johnny wins with a pinfall and control of both shows. God dammit! God dammit!
5 for 7. God dammit! God dammit! God dammit! God dammit! God dammit! Fucking whore Eve! I am legitimately pissed off right now! Tie that bitch to the cage and raise it to the tarp! NEVER LET HER DOWN! Eve with the low blow to Zack! FUCKING KILL HER! WHERE IS KANE TO SET HER ON FIRE WHEN YOU NEED HIM?! COME ON KHARMA! FUCK!
Johnny just said in the back that if Punk gets DQed, he loses the title. There’s the jacket! Jericho with some slaps to the face, trying to get Punk counted out in the corner. “Hey Punk, how’s your father?!” – Jericho. Punk dragged him out of the corner. Jericho rolls outside the ring as Punk went to the top rope. Punk with a clothesline from the top rope, connecting on the outside. “How’s your sister” – Jericho. Punk has the chair! “Your father’s a drunk! Hit me with a chair!” – Jericho Okay, that just sounded hilarious. Jericho with a suplex, landing outside the ring. CM Punk just received a really nice case of whiplash. Nothing really huge going on. Regular back and forth. Second “vintage” of the night. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho. Punk counters! Punk with a kick to the back of the head. Punk lands the GTS. Punk crawls to Jericho. 1. 2. Jericho gets his leg on the rope. Punk bounces off the rope and Jericho hits the lionsault. Punk kicks out of a quick pin. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho again after Punk botches from the top rope. Punk grabs the ropes. Jericho thinks he won as the ref tells him he did not. Punk tosses Jericho over the top rope. Jericho caught Punk in the air with a Codebreaker. Punk kicks out again. Punk tries the GTS again but gets caught in the middle of the ring with the Walls of Jericho. Punk has nowhere to go! Punk is dragging himself to the ropes! Jericho walks back to the middle of the ring! Punk is reversing it! Anaconda Vice! Jericho kicking the back of the head. Jericho tries the Walls of Jericho but Punk has the Anaconda Vice locked in! Ding ding ding! Punk wins with the submission.
6 out of 8!
BRODUS CLAY UP NEXT! FUNKASAURUS AT WRESTLEMANIA! Brodus is going to call someone’s mama! Correction, he is going to call his mama. Brodus’ mama is here?! Mama Clay! Wow. This is great. Oh god, she brought her bridge club. There are about 20 “old” ladies dancing on the stage. I don’t even care if he didn’t wrestle, that was the best part of the night.
Time for a 10 minute concert between MGK and Flo Rida. Cena is now green instead of red, white, and blue. Please make a note of it. Why is a lightcycle from Tron on the stage?
Alright, here we go. Once in a lifetime. Ding. Ding. Ding. This place is losing its mind. The Rock scores the first rollup of the night. The Rock with a right hand that throws him to the corner. Cena rolls out of the ring for a breather. Cena with a clothesline in the corner. Both men are outside, Cena drops The Rock onto the barricade. Cena drops Rock again on the announce table. Wrong table Cena! Wrong table! Cena is working the ribs of The Rock. Third “vintage” of the night! DDT to Cena. Rock goes for the People’s Elbow, Cena reverses with an STF, Rock reverses by kicking him away. Cena with a Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena goes for the AA, Rock counters but both men are down in the ring. Cena catches Rock with an AA. 1. 2. Just barely kicked out! Rock Bottom on Cena! 1. 2. Kickout. Cena with a wicked leg drop from the top rope. Rock kicks out at 2. Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring from The Rock. Cena crawls to the bottom rope. Well, they are outside of the ring now. I dont know if I am just emotionally spent from this Wrestlemania but I feel like this is not a top notch main event. It’s so slow. Cena into the steel steps. Cena with the STF, locked in the middle of the ring. The Rock is quickly passing out. The Rock holds his hand up high at 2 1/2. The Rock finally grabs the bottom rope. I am spent. Spinebuster from The Rock. People’s Elbow on Cena! 1. 2. Oh my god that was close. Cena AAs Rock. 1. 2. OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO CLOSE! Cena goes for the People’s Elbow on The Rock! Rock catches Cena with a Rock Bottom. 1. 2. 3! THE ROCK WINS WITH A PINFALL!
6 out of 9, so close.
Alright, that ending literally shocked me. That ending was a terrible business decision for the company. That was not the main event that we’ve been promised for an entire year. Overall, pretty solid ‘mania, few hiccups along the way but Taker/HHH stole the show. Why must the WWE insist on putting matches after that?!